It’s been too long since I said I was going to write this one. In part I, there was the struggle of forgiving my molester. I’ve chosen to let it go as it no longer serves me. By continuing to hold on to the hatred in my heart….I’m letting him win AND in the meantime, only hurting myself. Part II is more of the same as this.

For 22 years, I let myself be beat down by my in-laws. The only reason they ever gave for not liking me was that I had tattoos. For that 22 years, my husband never stood up for me. Interestingly enough, when I confronted him, he was silent. That spoke volumes. I don’t think he was ever truly in love with me b/c had he really been in love with me, he’d have never let that happen for so long. I digress.

I decided today, and let him know, that I will not waste anymore time letting their venom or his lack of action control my life and my confidence. I’m going to build myself back up to the woman I once was. The woman that I know I can be. The woman they took away from me 22 years ago. To write them a letter serves no purpose. I doubt they’d even read it. What’s the take home for me there? Absolutely nothing. By writing them, I’m again letting them know they still have some control over me. It ends today. I will not give him or his parents anymore power over my life.

I have found someone that has vowed to put me first. Whether or not that happens, is anyone’s guess but for me to put myself first will make it easier to walk away should I get let down. I’m not being negative here….just a realist. You never know what life is going to throw at you. God has put some really awful things in my path along the way….nowhere near as bad as many people, by any means, but I’ve lived a life of many ups and downs. Through each of them a new lesson or lessons was learned.

Although I’m angry that I feel like I wasted 22 years of my life on someone that never truly loved me, I have to see the lessons I’ve learned out of it. I know now what I can’t and won’t put up with in life from a partner. I know what I can and won’t put up with from other people around me. I have to surround myself with positive people. Surrounding myself with all the negative does nothing but bring me down and put me in a place that I have no desire to stay any longer.

I WILL get through this. Going to Sedona at the end of the month is going to be an eyeopening experience. I think it will be 4 days of incredible life changes and I’m so excited for this next chapter. I’ve got to pull myself out of this rut that I’ve been in for far too long and begin to live again.